"fitness professionals".
This band of fun hating, soul sucking self loathers (of course I'm excluded from this group, I'm in a much more progressive group of awesomeness) will deal out some of their worst advice of the year, every year, right about now.
What is this Titanically stupid fitness gospel? It is the majority of the fitness industries stance that you should not stuff yourself until your eyeballs are swimming in gravy, that you should find more healthy alternatives to you prized holiday treats, that everything on your plate is expected to be low fat and sugar free. "Don't go back for seconds" they say.
Already I can hear the nails on a chalk board dinner conversation about how "I can't eat that, I'm on a Paleo diet". Please do the world a favor... If you hear that last phrase uttered this holiday season, take off your shoe and throw it at the appropriate persons head!
"Why all the hostility Spartacore"?!
Let me ask you this. How many times have you heard one of these supposed fitness gurus regurgitating statements like "You didn't gain the weight in one day, so don't expect to lose it in one day".
Despite my earlier brow beating, I totally agree with the last statement.
"Bah bah bah duh duh what"?! "You say they are stupid and that you disagree with them, and now you are agreeing with them"?!
I said I agree that you didn't gain the weight in one day and you won't lose it that way either. However I disagree with their belief that thanksgiving should consist of some vegetables thrown in a Jack Lalanne juicer followed by crying yourself to sleep because your family revolted against your ridiculous idea of "self control".
Just think about it...We are talking about two days. By their own admission these professionals will tell you that no diet was ever won or lost in one day. So why the hell would you torture over a couple scheduled "free meals" during your year? The mental anguish people put themselves through over a few days of good times with family is far more detrimental to your overall health in my estimation. If a couple meals are going to completely derail your entire fitness program, you've got way bigger issues you need to address, so if you are in that boat, I would suggest some serious soul searching my friend.
My one irrefutable rule...
If you should decide that you are of strong resolve and that you can tackle a pile of potatoes and gravy, rolls, cakes and pies...There is one thing you must know. This doesn't give you a license to eat processed, chemical laden, hormone injected, anti biotic slathered crap! It is never ok to eat garbage!!! If you are going to eat, eat well. meaning? Organic, grass fed, non GMO, no preservatives or ingredients you can't pronounce, and lastly make it yourself!
Now obviously if you treat every day like thanksgiving...This advice is not for you. But for the rest of us lets roll up our sleeves, forget about fat and sugar and dig in!
For those of you not cooking your meals this year, this will be a bit more tricky to get high quality food on your plate. After all, most people don't realize how broken the American food system is. Most still believe that the FDA is vigilantly screening all foods and food additives for safety...Well I'm sorry to tell you that they are not. So for you this will be a delicate operation. You must find a way, without being an obnoxious blow hard to help those who are doing the cooking to get the best ingredients. Offer to buy some items for this culinary extravaganza (I love that word...just say it...extravaganza).
If all of this is still not possible, if there's no way to avoid radio active food...Sit down, shut up, say thank you, and eat. You can spend the other 363 days of the year eating food perfection, and maybe next year you can cook or offer to buy the magical holiday bounty yourself.
Alright I'm done...I must prepare to drink a five gallon bucket of gravy (organic non GMO homemade of course)...there might be some mashed potatoes in there somewhere.
Cheers!
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